Waiting To Inhale

After checking each others harnesses and the rappel rigging, the two dropped in. Almost immediately the slot becomes narrow, deep and steep. Much of the route becomes a guided, controlled slide by wedging parts (or all) of the body between the canyon walls then slowly releasing pressure and shimmying deeper into the slot. In other places it is narrow, but level, so you push and squirm and wiggle your way through. Sometimes exhaling deeply to squeeze through a narrow slot, hoping you can hold your breath until it widens enough to inhale. Occasionally the slot opens enough to allow to allow for the beauty of the rock to be examined and admired. Then it narrows down again and you chimney up above the constriction, pack dangling on a sling below you, and inch your way sideways until the next obstacle.

The second rappel comes a little less than hour into the slot. It's much shorter than the entry rap, but requires spanning a somewhat tricky, deep, water filled pothole first. The rope is left in place in case of some problem further on that requires a retreat back the same way. After this point, more water and mud is encountered. At first you try everything to avoid getting wet since wet, muddy shoes hinder climbing moves, and, quite frankly, it's yucky! Eventually you have no choice (possibly unintentionally) but to step into the muck, and it gets easier to do so again after that. At some point the slot becomes more like a cave than a canyon and the headlamps come out to light the way. At times our intrepid pair separates with Dale squeezing through the narrower lower slot while Paul is forced to find a higher route. At one such point, Paul spots a large bird deep in the slot. Soon they converge on it and find a very unhappy hawk trapped in a slightly more open spot. The slot was large enough for the bird to fall into, probably chasing prey, but to deep and narrow for it to fly out. Obviously the bird was not as prepared as our heroes. They feel sorry for the bird, but there is no way to effect a rescue of it. Unfortunately nature happens sometimes. Just getting passed the miffed bird took some effort and herding with packs strategically placed in front to avoid sharp talons and beak. Eventually the canyon starts to open back up with third and fourth short rappels required to get past obstacles.

Now out in the sun, it's time to enjoy the stunning view of the canyon walls and enjoy a hard earned late lunch. Not done yet though, there is still the matter of continuing down canyon until the walls lower enough to get out, and then hiking up and back in the upper desert to return to the start. The maps and directions prove useful again in finding the way out since there aren't handy little BLM signs out here saying "You are here". Up top is a typical desert landscape of sloping slickrock, sandy areas with life barely hanging on, large cliff walls, and wild fields of Moki marbles. It takes less time to hike back than negotiating the slot required, but it is hot and exposed out in the sun, so the extra water left at the bikes is needed and welcome. There's still work to do before heading back to the plane and cold drinks however. The first and second rappel ropes still need to be retrieved. The initial one is easy, but the second one requires Paul to rappel back into the slot just below where the second rap occurred, scramble back up to it, then jumar back up the rope.

All was finally finished just about sunset, leaving the boys to bike back to the plane in the dark. This was anticipated though, which is why the headlamps were brought. They proved unnecessary though as the full moon provided more than enough light for a very fun ride back with a generally downhill grade in the reverse direction. Back at the plane it was time to try and clean off all the mud, and clean and disinfect the scrapes the sandstone walls had inflicted. All cleaned up, it was time for an enjoyable dinner watching the stars and a very bright planet disappear behind the Henry mountains. The only adverse weather occurred part way through the night when some rain came through causing them to batten down a little. It stayed warmer than the previous night though, so it wasn't bad.

Sunday morning was again calm and clear with a light dusting of snow on the Henrys. Perfect flying weather. Paul carefully inspected the plane and runway for problems and planned out his takeoff (critical on such a rolling, remote strip). Since the weather was cooperating and the day was early, they headed west a little more to check out the area from the air (Goblin Valley is tiny from a couple thousand feet up) and make a stop at the Hidden Splendor airstrip off Muddy Creek in the San Rafael Swell. The strip is in a small open area before the Muddy cuts through the Swell. It requires careful navigating back and forth up the canyon emerging at the right place and altitude to touch down. A little exploring around then another spectacular takeoff into the canyon and on to Canyonlands airport to refuel and file a flight plan for the way home. Much of the return flight afforded more great views of the western desert and on up into the mountains. The remains of the previous night's storm meant some cloud cover that required flying over or through. Paul carefully kept in touch with air traffic controllers to make sure they were on the radar and there were no unexpected encounters with other aircraft. A flawless touch down back in Boulder signaled a successful trip.

When asked for his take on the whole successful outing thing, Dale had this to say: "It was a short notice trip, but we both have a lot of outdoor adventures under our belt and were well prepared for it. I'm a firm believer in Murphy. The more crap I bring to be prepared for a problem, the less likely I am to need it, hence the extremely sharp, serrated knife capable of cutting thru pesky ligaments. It's not like their weren't dicey moments. While trying to go high above a particularly tight spot, I suddenly slid down into a tight spot and got seriously wedged with the camera I had in my pocket jammed uncomfortably into my crotch. I just had to push through the pain and find a way out. Luckily the camera and the jewels are still in working condition."

Paul had similar remarks: "While the saying "Adventure is adversity retold at leisure" has some merit, It is quite possible to push your limits, have a tremendous amount of fun and accomplishment, without giving up safety and common sense. Weather definitely played a factor, if it hadn't been in our favor, we would have not gone, or fallen back on our contingency plans. The only thing I might do a little differently is find a partner who doesn't whine quite so much when he feels a little trapped."

Reached for comment at his base in Hanksville, Wayne County SAR Captain Dudley Doright had this to say: "It's awful inconsiderate of them to go into this kind of adventure well prepared. We spend all this time and effort in fund raising for equipment and training for emergencies and then people don't need us. If this keeps up, I won't be able to convince my wife I can't do the yard work because of training any more."

Echoing these sentiments, Colorado Civil Air Patrol search coordinator Buzz Lightyear provided this unsolicited comment: "I'm out here at the Boulder Radio Controlled airport flying pretend rescue missions with model airplanes because these people are using common sense. How am I supposed to justify flying all over the state when these people aren't screwing up."

Careful research, planning, preparedness and common sense meant they had a fun and exhilarating trip with no limbs removed, no worries at home, no news media coverage and "No Rescue Required".

NOTE-while the story is true, the names and quotes are entirely made up at the whim of the author. Any offense is purely unintentional and merely reflects the author's inability to be witty and sensitive at the same time.

COPYRIGHT - unauthorized users will be sentenced to spend a weekend with the author while he endlessly repeats the same lame stories and jokes in way too loud a voice.

Click photo for Angels Point take off video